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AOCAF 16 RPs

Posted: Sep 18 2006, 02:19 PM

Bettian Fans See Red

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There were slightly miffed scenes here in Lamoni following Bettia's colour-uncoordinated defeat at the hands of Vilita & Turori, as fans held an improtmu demonstration after the game against their opponents' decision to play in plain red shirts. The victorious Jungle-Cat-type-jobbies emerged from the stadium to be greeting by a small band of supporters waving polite placards protesting against their poor choice in kit design.

"Well, the crescent and star was a nice touch," explained father of two Ionwen Abbas from Ceffinton, "But that red was an absolute outrage. I mean, I spent shedloads of money getting me and my two boys over here to see the game, and yet I had to spend the entire match covering their eyes - my arms are still bloody knackered! Can you imagine the horror of seeing a team degrading themselves in such a fashion? My youngsters are gonna be traumatised for the rest of their lives. I tell ya now, I'll be sending the Vilitan FA the bill for my son's counselling. I hope they're ashamed of themselves. You hear me, you scumbags? I HOPE YOU'RE BLOODY ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES!!"

When asked about the match itself, many of the supporters drew a blank as, like the concerned father, most of them were covering their eyes, and the brave ones who dared to soil their eyes spent a large amount of time projectile vomiting, which left precious little time or energy for the singing and chanting that usually spurs the players on.

One slightly more level-headed fan, Sîon Aubrey of Tremwsa, who thankfully didn't bring his children to the game, had his own concerns. "I have my own concerns. It was bad enough for the fans in the ground to be exposed to such satanic filth, but that horrible red tat was beamed into homes, parks, big screens and sports cafés throughout the country. Who knows what sort of evil influence that will have on the young and easily led."

Luckily his fears were unfounded - seeing the shocking scenes that were about to unfold, the Sonastra Sport Network's technical director ordered the live pictures to beamed in black and white only, ordering his commentators to apologise for the 'technical difficulties'.

"It really was shocking for them to do that, and on prime-time TV too." he explained. "Let's face it, wearing red in public like that is an abomination. I mean, what's next - live sheep-shagging during the half-time interval?"

The shocking events of last night's game prompted the Grand Shura to call an emergency meeting. "These disgraceful scenes must never be allowed to happen again," president Amir Brooks announced to the national press earlier. "Obviously we can't control what people in other countries wear, but we can do so here. We, the Grand Shura of Bettia, are proposing to make it a criminal offence to wear red in public, and I hope I can count on the public's support in this."

When asked about his views on the match itself, President Brooks was full of praise for our nation's young representitves. "The fact that it took not onw but two nations to defeat our Under-21's speaks volumes for the strength in depth of our national football scene." With regards to the upcoming final, he had these parting words: "I don't want to sound bitter about losing to Vilita, but I hope the Hawks stuff 'em!"

Bettia

We don't do defence

Posts: 956

Posted: Sep 18 2006, 09:56 PM

Region holds it's breath as Hawks take on Regional Founder; other news

Nephi Times - Sports

Several rather odd things happened today. First, newspapers in Turori went missing. Unconfirmed reports specify that a pink clad Bettian was found passed out on a stack of Turorian newspapers in a recycling factory. It was not clear if alcohol was a factor, but the entertainment value of the pictures of the above event are obvious.

Second, Bettia had a predictably strong reaction to the decision by the Vilita/Turori decision to wear a plain red shirt during that match. Why is this odd, you might ask? Beyond the signs that looked like the words were fingerpainted on, the march and demonstration was almost TOO peaceful for a supposed 'outrage' as this. Wearing a red shirt in Bettia has been compared to walking naked down the street while eating a BLT sandwich, and drinking beer. If wearing red is such a sin, then where is the massive anger that one would expect at such a deliberate insult? Only the Bettian Grand Shura seemed to be following logic; going into an emergency session to ban the wearing of red in all of Bettia.

Another odd thing is the total silence of the Pacitalian media going into the third place playoff match against the second best team in the region. Not one Pacitalian newspaper or television or internet site has even told anyone that they are facing Bettia in the 3PPO. Has a time warp taken hold of that entire nation? Have they stopped caring after their amazing group stage performance? The truth is, we just don't know.

The final odd thing is that someone has stolen all of the Lamonian AOCAF away uniforms from locked and patrolled storage. Lamonian firms are rushing to replace the stolen away unis, but they were not able to complete the order in time for this match. Therefore, it has been decided that the Lamonian team will wear their home uniform during the finals match against the combined Vilita/Turori team.

As has been mentioned in previous editions, Lamoni has a very good record against the Vilitans; and we expect this to carry over even in the face of a combined squad. That is not to say that the match will be easy. Coach Riyall stated that he had let his players sleep in during the morning, and then held a rigorous practice during the afternoon. With as close as this match is expected to be, the Hawks will likely be glad for all of that extra practice.

Finally, here are our finals predictions, which came from a random Bazalonian that we found on the street:

V/T v Lamoni: This will be a close match, but Lamoni has both the historical record, and a slight advantage from the home crowd. Most Lamonian matches have been close, and this will serve the Hawks well going into this match. Expect Lamoni to lift the cup over it's own soil when this one is over.

Bettia v Pacitalia: Unless Pacitalia steps up and takes control of this game, I would expect Bettia to steamroll the Blue Foxes. Still, anything is possible.

Lamoni

Democratic Maniac

Posts: 1952

Posted: Sep 18 2006, 09:56 PM

What Eats a Hawk?

It was a normal evening for the Kalaikai family, as little Naialy was doing her homework. After the days discussion in class, the children were assigned an animal and they had to organize a food chain for that animal, with two levels below (things that animal ate) and two levels above (things it got eaten by). Little Naialy was assigned the mouse.

But Little Naialy was unsure how to complete her assignment. She knew, of course, that mice were eaten by Hawks. But then, an interesting question arose.

"Mommy, I'm creating a food chain and know that Hawks eat
mice. However, I don't know - what eats a Hawk?"

Ms. Kalaikai was confused and had to think for a second.

"Why darling, thats a very interesting question. Generally, a hawk is considered at the top of the food chain." That is, nothing eats a hawk... well... that is nothing eats a hawk as part of its usual diet. the natural world is never so simple though, some big cats have been known to eat hawks. Mountain Lions, Jungle Cats, Couga..."

Little Naialy interuppted.

"Thanks mommy!"

Returning to her assignment, Naialy took our her thick blue marker and drew a brand new arrow, above her image of the Hawk. First she drew the outline of the skull, then added some ears. Next came the eyes, and then finally, the teeth. Naialy was constructing, to the best of her knowledge, a Jungle Cat. Strategically placed just above the Hawk on her condensed version of the Food Chain, she had to change the direction of the tail to avoid running out of room on top of the page she was working on.

"Mommy! Mommy! Look at my Jungle Cat! Look at it go Roooooooooarrrrrrr!"

"Thats wonderful darling" Ms. Kalaikai said as she continued washing the dishes.

Naialy returned to her room and placed her food chain on the chair next to her bed. Proud of her work, she laid on her bed and her eyes grew heavy. Just before they finally closed, she imagined one last roar from the Jungle Cats well defined jaws, and drifted away to a satisfying and deserved nights sleep.

Vilita

Founder

Posts: 1300

Posted: Sep 18 2006, 10:25 PM

....As Naialy slept, a clash of two titans began.
The venue was the Karakan Box in Lamonian City of Karakan.

The Hawks could no longer hide in their domain above the ground.
They were face to face with a squad full of cats (and a few Eels for the tone of a political sound)

This night in Karakan, Naialy's food chain was objectable by none.
The Vilita & Turori Eel Cat things had won, four goals to one....