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AOCAF Cup 26 RP Thread
Posted: Apr 5 2009, 02:06 AM
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Demot Daily ~ A Second Last Hurrah!

As the DFA looks to close up shop in two months, the Dynamo get a last chance to leave their mark on international time for the foreseeable future. After having already having had their last World Cup by hosting the event, and then being eliminated in the Round of Sixteen by former colony masters of Valanora, this means AOCAF 26 will be the last chance at capturing a trophy for the Dynamo. The Dynamo have established a history of being the constant decent side, but always just short of championship material. This dates all the way back to their Baptism of Fire entry tournament, where they would finish third. This continued on through the World Cup, where they would make the tournament Finals in their second attempt, before being thoroughly smashed in all three of those fixtures. Lastly, there is their two World Cup Final appearances, both of which they came up drastically short of the performance needed to win the trophy.

So here they are in Starblaydia, knowing full well that many of them will likely never see another international match in their lifetime, and looking to send the side out in style. For the neutral, the Dynamo should have been a side to be rooted on for, with their all out attack style, normally using a three striker system, or an 4-4-2 diamond, with an attacking midfielder acting almost like a third striker. It often brought up tempo matches that were wide open and high scoring. However, this has not been the case, and could be very well one of the reasons the DFA has gone bankrupt, yet that is not stopping the hopes of the Dynamo that they can wow those few neutrals when they make the trip to the northeast.

Meeting them there will be the hosts themselves, on the merit of both being host, and among the top four ranked sides in the region. Obviously that fixture is going to be the most challenging for the Dynamo, as both sides will look to play the high tempo game. It will be a match that goals are sure to be scored in plenty, and Theros is going to have to show why is was often considered the best keeper in the Cafundelense league. Joining the Dynamo and Purple Peril will be Koseli Cumhuriyetler, Cafundéu & The Bear Islands. The latter two are new to the AOCAF, though both have previously participated in the World Cup, with the Cafundelense losing out to the Purple Peril in the Final of World Cup 44 in penalties. Regardless, it is a group that the Dynamo should have little problem advancing from, and with a small amount of luck and display of skill, could very well win it and get that easier second round matchup.

Article by Denilo Totti
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Posted: Apr 5 2009, 06:48 AM
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It is just after dawn, at what the colonists in these islands are now calling Newhome Bay, and the tide has almost reached its lowest level. Further up the beach, a little way below the high-water mark, a team of Ursines have just finished using ropes and pegs to mark-out a soccer pitch in the damp sand.

"Are you sure that this will be considered hokay for international games?" enquires Red Owl, the local team's medicine-bear, who was supervising this job.

"Sure I'm sure," replies the team's captain, Mighty-Like-A-Rose, as he leads the other players onto the pitch for some practice. "Heya, why are you running things here today instead of Listens-To-Parrots?"

"The elders needed to talk with him, about settling the travelling arrangements for our 'away' games and hosting visitors for our 'home' ones."

"Oh, hokay."
*(pause)*
"Running Joke, try running forwards this time!"
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Posted: Apr 5 2009, 09:53 AM
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QUOTE (Bazalonia @ Apr 5 2009, 01:42 AM)
QUOTE (Sarzonia @ Apr 4 2009, 11:23 PM)
QUOTE (Bazalonia @ Apr 3 2009, 05:52 AM)
Basic Rankings...
CODE

1      Starblaydia              50.08
2      Lamoni                   42.58
3      Pacitalia                40.50
4      Bazalonia                25.75
5      Demot                    17.67
6      Nojika                   12.75
7      Krytenia                 9.92
8      Fidelia                  8.83
9      95X                      8.00
10     Milchama                 4.33
11     Allenmenschen            4.00
11     Edward City              4.00
11     Sorthern Northland       4.00
11     Vephrall                 4.00
15     Bettia                   3.00
16     Koseli Cumhuriyetler     1.33
17     Hypocria                 1.00
18     An Blascoad Mor          0.50
19     Kosovoe                  0.25
20     Septentrionia            0.00


Full AOCAF ODS file at Thirdgeek.com
New Nations start with 1 pt
New Puppets of existing people start with 0.5 pts

OOC: Sarzonia is not listed in your rankings and competed in AOCAF 25...

Ah, yes. Sorry. Sarzonia has 0 pts.

OOC: Again, Sarzonia competed in the 25th AOCAF, so it's not a debutant nation.

Zero points would be understandable if this were the first AOCAF it were in after a six-cup absence, but this is the second consecutive cup appearance.
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Posted: Apr 5 2009, 01:52 PM
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QUOTE (Sarzonia @ Apr 5 2009, 03:53 PM)
OOC: Again, Sarzonia competed in the 25th AOCAF, so it's not a debutant nation.

Zero points would be understandable if this were the first AOCAF it were in after a six-cup absence, but this is the second consecutive cup appearance.

OOC: You're forgetting that you won precisely zero points in your three matches in AOCAF Cup 25, which I'm assuming (as I can't open the .ODS file) that when you take that number and add it into the formula, it multiplies by what-ever-is-in-the-formula to give you zero points for the 26th AOCAF Cup.
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Posted: Apr 6 2009, 07:33 PM
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Sarzonia, Krytenia, Septentrionia, and Lamoni. Names not normally thought to conjure up any sort of thoughts of OMFG! INVADORS!, but then again, Koryatsky was not normal.

"GAH! We've got INVADORS!"

"What's with all of this noise?" Kowak said, stumbling out of his sleeping quarters. Koryatsky was busily running around with a rubber chicken affixed to his head by the beak. Kowak tried to get an answer, but had to resort to unusually harsh tactics to stop the President from running about the place. It wasn't the every-day sort of case where the President was running with a chicken on his head, rather than like a headless chicken...

"What's going on?"

"We're going to be invaded!" Koryatsky cried in trembling fear.

"Who's going to innvade us?"

"Sarzonia, Krytenia, Septentrionia, and Lamoni!"

"Bah, no one worries about either Septentrionia or Lamoni; and Krytenia's too busy sucking their thumbs. Maybe Sarzonia..."

"We're going to be invaded!"

"Why?"

"Because!" Koryatsky turned, pointing his finger directly at the odd box on the wall.

"The radio?" Kowak replied.

"The radio said that Sarzonia, Krytenia, Septentrionia, and Lamoni were coming to play with us. And you know what that means."

"First of all... that's the AOCAF Group Draw. And secondly, we're not hosting it."

"Oh..."

"Starblaydia is hosting it."

"That's even worse!" Koryatsky muttered in shear horror.

"How so?"

"Those flaming purple-stinging nellies are going to be flying there! And then we'll have purple-stinging nellies on a plane!"

Kowak narrowed his brows slightly, to show his extreme displeasure. He never liked being woken in the late hours of the morning, and this was no exception.

"Good night, Mr. President."

This post has been edited by Allemenschen on Apr 6 2009, 07:33 PM
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Posted: Apr 6 2009, 10:21 PM
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QUOTE (Starblaydia @ Apr 6 2009, 04:52 AM)

OOC: You're forgetting that you won precisely zero points in your three matches in AOCAF Cup 25, which I'm assuming (as I can't open the .ODS file) that when you take that number and add it into the formula, it multiplies by what-ever-is-in-the-formula to give you zero points for the 26th AOCAF Cup.

yes gaining 0 points is exactly like not competing at all in terms of how it affects your AOCAF Ranking Points
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Posted: Apr 7 2009, 07:51 AM
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GROUP DRAW, NICKNAME ANNOUNCED

Bazalonia. Hypocria. Nojika. Oh boy, what are we getting ourselves into? Edward City. Ok, maybe we can muster a point or three. Those are the nations in which West Pocono will be going up against in the 26th AOCAF tournament, an experience that will be more of the start of the learning curve for our country then an actual chance to win the prestigious event. But you cannot have success in this if you do not start somewhere. Eventually those great nations had their first time as well. What, in fairness, can we expect out of West Pocono in this? First, there is Bazalonia, who defeated us in AOCAF 23. They are the ranked 4th in the region, and although many people seem to be pointing towards Starblaydia or Lamoni as being the favorites, don’t go counting the Bazalopes out of this. We do, after all, hope that you will watch the tournament in its entirety, and not just stop once the team has been eliminated after the group stage. Nojika is ranked 6th in the region. We don’t really know much about Nojika other then they are ranked 6th and must be pretty good. Hypocria is 17th, and ranked ahead of us slightly. Edward City is 11th. Who knows, maybe Hypocria and Edward City are in reach after all. Still, cracking the top two? Don’t bet on it.

We mentioned in our previous team report that the Rockport Herald was having a contest to determine the nickname of the team. The winning nickname? The Thunder. That’s right, we are now the West Pocono Thunder. Kevin Ellerton of the Herald explains why the name was chosen, “The nickname fits the roots of our country pretty well, but at the same time sounds better then things like the Jets.” There were many people that made this suggestion, so one winner was chosen amongst those entrants. Gary Pizzuto of Coveville is the winner. Congratulations, Gary! Gary has won an all-expense paid trip to Starblaydia, along with three of his friends, to watch all of our group stage games. Additionally, he and his friends receive tickets to the final.
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Posted: Apr 19 2009, 01:02 AM
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Norwellia 1 - 5 Pacitalia

Chris Padilla started for Dmitris Roivas (ankle sprain). Roivas is expected to be fit for the Baptism of Fire but may not make his return in AOCAF.

Box score:

CODE
5' Goal: Vunghiasso (PAC)
15' Yellow card: Ponten (NOR)
22' Goal: Vermeeren (NOR) (3 in 6 caps)
31' Yellow card: Bordelatta (PAC)
43' Goal: Giurimano (PAC)
51' Goal: Giurimano (PAC)
62' Goal: San Sebastiano (PAC)
63' Goal: Giurimano (PAC)


Rumors abound that Richter will be benched against Sorthern Northland after failing to score in six international starts. According to the word on the street, Vermeeren is expected to shift leftward to make room for Nikos Ampatis, in a move that would make the front line resemble their domestic setup at Engels. Ampatis has less experience than Pagliloe, but his chemistry with the Flying Dutchman is expected to generate more shots on goal. The Warriors have failed to create an abundance of scoring chances in their 0-1-5 international record, including a 1-0 squeaker of a loss to Peisandros in their otherwise impressive debut and a 1-1 draw against West Newmanistan in which Richter was roundly criticized for turning the ball over in scoring situations.

Coach Fréchette hinted that he may or may not bench Colleague Lanja, whose goal mouth has been fertile since the West Newmanistan tie, but who has not generally been blamed for the losses.

International career stats for the fledgling Guerreros:

Goalies

Syku Lanja - 5 caps, 16 GA
Aleksej Aleksandrovič Glinka - 1 cap, 5 GA
Pavel Il'ič Kaganovič - N/A

Defenders

백일일 - 6 caps
Metheven Tangye - 6 caps
Aaliyah Morris - 3 caps
Kentisesh Voreght - 6 caps
Others - N/A

Midfielders

Barbara Senior - 6 caps
Misina Ponten - 6 caps, yellow card alert for next game
Mia Frost - 2 caps
Sala Ikaru - 6 caps, 1 GF
Dmitris Roivas - 5 caps; currently out with ankle sprain
Chris Padilla - 3 caps
Mesit Xura - 6 caps, 1 GF
Others - N/A

Forwards

Alain Vermeeren - 6 caps, 3 GF
Natalia Richter - 6 caps, 0 GF
Others - N/A

This post has been edited by Starblaydia on Apr 19 2009, 04:55 AM
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Posted: Apr 19 2009, 03:07 AM
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95X Will Play Kosovoe For First AOCAF Cup 26 Match

With schedules released and the first day of action played out, 95X had an extra day to practice strategy and tactics for its first AOCAF Cup 26 match.

The starting lineup combines the trio of familiar stars Micah Skokomish, Damien Dairycreek, and Melissa/Michelle Mitchell with starters in new positions, and some of the up and coming players inserted into the first eleven.

Among the latter group, the most noticeable may be Vaughn Howard, inserted by new head coach Chris Tucker as forward, to balance out the age, experience, and maturity of Mitchell and Skokomish near the opposing goal with the eagerness of a promising former bench warmer.

Another change immediately noticeable to diehard fans is former defender Tai Doe moving to the keepers' box, a position he long desired for. New head coach Tucker, needing to replace former starting keeper Trevor Page, saw "all the talent we needed in a goalkeeper with veteran experience."

Casual fans, as well as those who follow 95X for the "circus" factor, will be quick to notice the new starting position of Samantha Skyridge, the armless 6-foot 1-inch member of the team.

95X plays its first game on Match Day 2 against Kosovoe, who is coming off a 3-2 win over Southern Northland in Match Day 1. Other nations 95X will face in Group Play are Norwellia, Sorthern Northland, and defending champions Pacitalia.
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Posted: Apr 19 2009, 04:44 AM
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'Foxes off to good start in title defence
Pacitalia's supercharged offence pots five to down Rainbow Warriors

Jhanna, Starblaydia (PSN)
— Pacitalia's Blue Foxes began the quest to defend their championship title from AOCAF25 on solid footing, thumping Norwellia 5-1 in the first of eight group stage matches at AOCAF26 in Starblaydia.

"I like the way we played today," Pacitalian manager Marco van Basten told reporters after the match. "We were solid down the sides, our midfield work was excellent, and the boys fought hard for the whole ninety minutes to fish the ball out of the corners and set up chances."

"I think [Blue Foxes central midfielder Michelangelo Mascagnano] was just perfect on our set piece attempts," Pacitalia's manager added. "If we can get our offence out there like that in every match, we will be in very good shape. There were some imperfections but we can deal with them in practice and build on that."

The Blue Foxes opened the scoring just five minutes in, as left midfielder Andolfabio Vunghiasso gathered up a hopping pass from Mascagnano and peeled off a devastating rocket to the top-left corner of the net. The shot barely eluded the fingertips of Norwellian keeper Syku Lanja, but the speed of the ball was fast enough that only the most solid of hands would have halted it. Visibly stunned by the quick strike, Vunghiasso raced to the corner marker to celebrate and was promptly hounded by an ecstatic Ambrosino Giurimano.

Momentum seemed to shift more the way of the Blue Foxes, especially after Warriors midfielder Misina Ponten drew a yellow card for a mistimed tackle on Pacitalian halfback Giordano Muntefeora. Ponten was then given a warning in the 18th minute for sliding to meet not the ball but the feet of the Foxes' other halfback, Chimano San Sebastiano. Sebba managed to jump and narrowly avoid the collision but the official's cautions earned Ponten a heated rebuke from her manager, Alexandre Fréchette.

Indeed, the Blue Foxes looked to be on their way to a solid win at that point. However, the tables turned for a while when Giurimano's redirection of a Massimo da Scupeta pass caromed wide left in the 21st minute. And just 43 seconds after the sorcère's miss, Alain Vermeeren, Norwellia's "flying Dutchman", broke past Blue Foxes fullback Aurelio Seriesta and tucked a shot low past Abro Zolà to equalise. The goal, courtesy a textbook finish, was Vermeeren's third in six appearances for the Rainbow Warriors.

It was then van Basten's turn to light a fire under his starting eleven as three Pacitalian cautions from a sudden faltering in discipline were subsequently flanked by a yellow card to Angelo Bordellatta in the 31st minute. Bordellatta was attempting to force the Amazonian-like Warriors forward Natalia Richter off the ball along the touch line, but ended up tripping her out of play to earn the card.

The jilting screams from van Basten seemed to awaken the Blue Foxes, who moved to play a tighter, sharper attacking game. The discipline improved and momentum shifted back to the Pacitalians. Semih Mansur found Giurimano just on-side with a long-range lob pass and Giurimano's conservative flick met refusal from the fingertips of Lanja. Lanja couldn't reel in the bouncing ball, which met the foot of Giurimano again. But, unusually, he could not convert, sending a hurried rebound high and right of the goalpost. The Magician was then seen, in an oddly classic moment of sports television, slapping himself on the temples with both hands and shouting in frustration.

Three minutes later, in the 40th, Giurimano would get a third chance to pot Pacitalia's second strike of the match but again his attempt sailed wide right. It was with yet another trio of minutes passed that Giurimano finally hit the inside of the twine, sharply redirecting Vunghiasso's corner down to the pitch from just two yards away. Lanja lunged to smother the ball but the angle of descent off Giurimano's head was steeper than the Norwellian keeper's estimation. The sphere bounced forcefully off the pitch underneath Lanja's right arm, crossing the plane to put the Blue Foxes back up by a goal, 2-1, heading to halftime. It was not a pretty goal by any standard but it did the trick and secured momentum for Pacitalia, which headed into the tunnel brimming with newfound confidence.

Coming back out, the Foxes displayed more of the same brilliance that sparked them to their late strike in the first half. Giurimano's back-heel pass to Vunghiasso was quickly redirected to Mascagnano, who hammered out a screaming shot. Masca's attempt rang tenor off the crossbar and stayed in bounds and Giurimano's forehead almost came within inches of again beating Lanja's outstretched limbs.

The Magician was not to be denied eight minutes into the second half, taking a low, laser-straight pass from Massimo da Scupeta and burying it with a decisive chip into the heart of the mesh to double Pacitalia's lead. Chimano San Sebastiano then successfully converted a penalty shot after being shoved over inside the box by Norwellian back Kentisesh Voreght. Voreght's forceful push during a Pacitalian corner attempt resulted in a whistle but no card. San Sebastiano neatly tucked the ball low and right past Lanja to extend the Blue Foxes' lead to 4-1. An irate Fréchette was unable to rally the Warriors to play with significantly more discipline, even after giving up a gimme penalty to the 'Foxes.

Twelve minutes after his second goal and just 57 seconds after Sebba's penalty conversion, Giurimano pulled off his ninth career hat-trick, to the delight of the delirious Blue Foxes supporters in the stands here in Starblaydia. His long-range scorcher beat Lanja, sailing into the net in the top-left corner, just underneath the crossbar. Pacitalia was, almost instantly, up 5-1 with under half an hour left to play, and well on its way to securing three points to open the tournament.

Asked if he thought this was a serious test for the Blue Foxes, Abro Zolà, Pacitalia's starting keeper and captain, replied: "It isn't a secret that Norwellia are untested in this particular competition. That said, we never underestimate our opponents and we didn't do that today. We did exactly what was necessary to win today and the Warriors, to their credit, played solid ball."

MATCH NOTES —— Today's match was Seriesta's first cap for Pacitalia. The 23-year-old started in place of Antonio Linguera de Sà, who is still nursing a separated shoulder suffered during a Pacitalian league match on 28th February. van Basten expects Sà to be out until at least the knockout stage, giving Seriesta plenty of opportunity to prove his worth as a starter at the centre-right fullback slot.

From Jhanna, Starblaydia:
Norwellia 1 : 5 Pacitalia
NOR — Vermeeren 22
PAC — Vunghiasso 5; Giurimano 43, 51, 63; San Sebastiano 62


Next up: NOR v SNR (MD2), PAC v n/a (bye, PAC v SNR on MD3)
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Posted: Apr 19 2009, 06:24 PM
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MONOPOLISTS WITH IMPRESSIVE START
Who could imagine this 4x0 win?

In the first game of the AOCAF, the Monopolists from Cafundéu impressed everyone following the competition with an excellent win over The Bear Islands. Playing quality football, the team didn't let the opponents have chances of scoring goals and, with superiority, were able to win the game by a result of 4x0. Such a good result clearly wasn't expected by the experts and even by the supporters, and they could leave the stadium (or turn off their televisions) with a smile on their faces. The next game is against Demot, and the Cafundelense certainly expect a difficult game.

In the game against The Bear Islands, the Cafundelenses attacked since the first minute, counting with luck to have goal chances. In one play, Leaping Walrus forgot the ball when running and Nakombi could take it, attempting and missing a shot to the goal. The first goal only came later, when Augusto César took a free kick with perfection. Two minutes later, Rafael Nunes tackled Wide Boy, exchanged passes with Marques and shot to score the second goal. The last goal of the first half was scored by Nakombi, with a long ranged shot.

The second half had some changes in both teams, with Cafundéu having a more defensive attitude while The Bear Islands' coach hoped to change the fate of the game with substitutions. But everything was lost for them when "half" of Turtle-Blue-Twin started to discuss with Marques, and punched him. The referee didn't hear to their complaints that Marques was provoking them, and showed the red card to Turtle-Blue-Twin, as they're considered one even if only one of them really hit Marques. So, when Augusto César scored the fourth goal of the game, there was already little hope for The Bear Islands, and the victory of Cafundéu was guaranteed.

CAFUNDÉU 4x0 THE BEAR ISLANDS

CAFUNDÉU: Murilo; Leonardo, Radicci, Schmidt and Luizão; Marcus Vinícius, Nakombi, Marques (Pedrinho 60') and Augusto César (Werner 74'); Matoso (Melchior 81') and Rafael Nunes.
Coach: Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga.

THE BEAR ISLANDS: Stands-Like-Oak; Wide Boy, Turtle-Blue-Twin and Stone Turtle; Leaping Walrus and Running Joke; Running Bare (Floats-Like-Butterfly 78'), Head-in-Air, Thunderbolt and Son-of-Waves (Hears-Strange-Ghosts 45').
Coach: Listens-to-Parrots.

Goals:CAF: Augusto César 18'/63' , Rafael Nunes 20' , Nakombi 43'.

Yellow cards: Radicci and Marques (CAF); Wide Boy, Running Bare and Hears-Strange-Ghosts (YRU).

Red card: Turtle-Blue-Twin (YRU).
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Posted: Apr 19 2009, 08:18 PM
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AOCAF 26 - Group A
MD1: 2-0 vs Septentrionia
MD2: vs Lamoni
MD3: vs Krytenia
MD4: vs Sarzonia
MD5: vs #6 BYE
MD6: vs Septentrionia
MD7: vs Lamoni
MD8: vs Krytenia
MD9: vs Sarzonia
MD10: vs #6 BYE


"GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Koryatsky was obviously in a pickle, but when Kowak rushed into the kitchen, he surprised to find that the President was literally stuck in a pickle.

"How the bloody -explicitive removed-ing scrupulous hell did you get yourself into that bugger?" Kowak asked, noticeably irritated.

"I was hiding from a large purple-stinging nellies that managed to eat my shorts, and I thought that this would be a good place to hide. But I was wrong."

"Because now you're stuck?"

"No. He's in the pickle!"

"And you're stuck."

"Well, I was here first! Let him find somewhere else to hide!"

Kowak had his face in his hands as he tried to reason with the President. But it was no use, since the Cabinet was there as well.

"Hold still!!!" the Cabinet said. "I can try to buzz off that nellie from the pickle. I just need to get my propellers running."

"You don't have any propellers!" Koryatsky replied. "You're a -explicitive removed-ing cabinet, for the bazillionth time! Not a -explicitive removed-ing helicopter!"

Surprisingly, the Cabinet wasn't kidding when she decided to pull out the garbage dispenser and turned it on. The whirring sound of the tiny blades was enough to convince Koryatsky that he had a helicopter on his tail.

"Turn it off! Turn it off! I want to live!"

Kowak couldn't handle it anymore. "I'll be in the office quarters. If you care to join the rest of the Cabinet for this meeting..." And with that, Kowak returned to the conference room, where the whole cabinet had assembled for the meeting. And the meeting was certainly off the topic.

"We must discuss the matter of those purple-stinging nellies! They're going to bankrupt the Allemenschen economy if they keep this up!"

"I think we have more to fear than them just bankrupting the economy. We're losing our international credibility to those nellies, and every time we lose credibility, we gain a bit of enmity."

Kowak nodded with the majority opinion. "It seems that the population has become a bit excessive in recent years."

"I've also read this report. In Starblaydia, on matchday 5, the #6 team is supposed to have a bye, whereas team #3 is not even registered to compete. Now, blow me down, but I thought there were only five teams competing in this darned competition? So how is it that the #6 team gets the bye, but we'll have to settle with not even competing at all?"

Kowak tried to explain the situation as reasonably as possible. "Well, those Starblaydii folk aren't quite the mathematically inclined folk. You see, they believe the universe is all made of pixels, using the base number 13. I'm not sure how it works, but it seems the stuff of their life and all reality is based upon this dear phenomenon, whereby 9 is somehow multiplied by 6 to yield an incomprehensible figure that is the key to their survival as a nation. If we were to ticker with this mechanism, who knows? All life in the universe may yet cease. So when they put a 6 in place for a 3, I think we can give them a little credit. Besides that, they're not those Krytie bastards."

"Who are the Krytie bastards?"

Kowak pointed at a map of Atlantian Oceania.

"That's us, Prime Minister."

"Oh really?... Well, geography was never my strong point." He pointed again, hoping to aim specifically at the plot labeled Krytenia.

"The Krytenians are Krytie bastards?"

"Yes!"

"How so?"

"Because they didn't eat their peanut butter and spinach quesadilla this morning!" Kowak exclaimed in a rapturous roar.

"Those Krytie bastards!"

At that, the President came humbly, still stuck in his pickle, although the rear end of the whole thing was visibly reduced. He seemed to be a bit lost. "Where are we now?"

"We're discussing what to do with the Krytie bastards," Kowak said.

"Ah. Those bastards who didn't eat their peanut butter and spinach quesadilla then? What about those white-flag-waving cheese-eating surrender monkeys?"

"Ummm.... they're not monkeys, and they don't eat cheese. They just wave white flags."

Kowak nodded as the minister correctly corrected that incorrect stereotype. "Those Septentrionians didn't seem to have an answer for our beloved purple-stinging nellies."

"The ones who are bankrupting our economy by buying business class to Starblaydia?" Koryatsky exhorted. "They're a nuissance beyond that, you know!!! They'll be the ruin of us all!!!"

"Your pickle's on fire," Kowak remarked lightly.

"That's impossible. I just polished it two minutes ago..." Koryatsky didn't need much impetus to turn around and gaze at his burning rear end. "GAH!!!!! It's burning!" At that instant, an android swept into the room and pulled the fire alarm. The alarm rang especially loudly, and seeing no other alternative (the only other alternative would have been to walk politely and courtly down the many flights of stairs to the ground floor and exit the building, amidst the roar of the alarms), the Ministers of Cabinet all vacated the conference room via the windows, crashing their chairs against the frame. Unfortunately, the chairs failed to break the windows and instead rebounded back to the ministers as they attempted to flee, so they were incapacitated by their own chairs. Only Kowak and Koryatsky were left unharmed in the incident, whereby they elected to break the window using the burning pickle and successfully broke through the hard frames. However, they failed to anticipate the 1093 foot fall to the ground.

Kowak turned to Koryatsky, still huddled in his pickle. "This would be a good time to reminisce..."
Allemenschen
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Posted: Apr 20 2009, 05:42 PM
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If the wait seemed interminable, it's because it was. For the Sarzonian second choice national team, it would be even longer.

AOCAF XXVI play finally got underway after an extended delay that was left unexplained by Starblaydi organisers in spite of several attempts by Incorporated Football Federation officials to find out exactly what happened.

"I question the wisdom of allowing Starblaydia to host a tournament if they can't bloody start on time," starting goalkeeper Will Brantley fumed. "First the Under 21 World Cup, now this. I can't think of anyone worse to host a championship."

Brantley obviously doesn't know his history. The Stars have competed in World Cups hosted by more incompetent organisers. Still, when the schedules were announced, the Stars found out they wouldn't be playing on the first day of AOCAF XXVI. When they received their schedules, the Stars learned they would have a bye on Matchday 1.

"It's not an ideal situation," said Stars manager Kevin Wilson, the younger brother of IFF chairman Brian Wilson and a son of former IFF chairman and national team manager Dave Wilson. "You'd like to think you'd be able to get out there and shake off the nerves before you're too deep into the tournament. However, that's not the lot we've drawn."

Rather, the Stars would have extra time to dwell on their opening fixture at the new Mike Sarzo Stadium in Nicksia, a matchup against longtime rivals Krytenia. Kevin Wilson said he would use the added time to prepare for the fixture against the Aces.

"It provides us with a potential advantage," he said. "We can spend more time developing the right tactics for the Kryties, but we can also become too perfectionistic if we're not careful."

An away fixture in Allenmenschen also awaits as Wilson put in a request for Truxtun Chemicals to develop a purple stinging nellie-repellant. The Stars then host Septentrionia at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium in Woodstock, and travel to Lamoni to conclude the first half of the schedule. Matchday 6 will be another bye, then they travel to Krytenia, host Allenmenschen at the Iron Bowl in Portland, travel to Septentrionia, then host Lamoni at Mike Sarzo Stadium.

Kevin Wilson said he had few expectations about the squad's performance after his brother led the first choice Stars to an 0-0-3 record in AOCAF XXV.

"We're the underdogs," he said. "Anything we can accomplish will be a feather in this team's cap."

[OOC: Again Star, my team's frustration is solely IC. I know as well as anyone the pressures of publication deadlines.]
Sarzonia
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Hawks off to a 2-1 victorious start against the Kryties!

The Hawks started AOCAF 26 fairly well, winning 2-1 against Krytenia, former home of the wife of Starblaydi leader Tiberius Starblayde. There are some that have speculated that former Krytenian President Domanasca would be very pleased indeed if her former nation's team fared poorly in AOCAF 26. The truth of the matter will likely never be known, but it does potentially add an interesting and complex political web into the AOCAF. It would not surprise this reporter if unexplained bad things happened to the Kryties; things with which Domanasca had a hand in.

Krytenia aside, the Hawks will face Allemenschen in their next match, and are looking forward to the match itself. Allemenschen appears to be a very strange country, where even the leaders seem to do things that would strike the average Lamonian as completely insane as part of their daily routine. We don't know enough about this nation to definitively say whether their AOCAF team will behave the same way, but the Hawks will prepare for anything; like the time that the reserve side was frozen in time by a psychopath. Security for the Lamonian AOCAF side has increased since that incident, which has not generated problems with the various host nations since then.

The obvious Lamonian objective for this AOCAF is to once again win the cup, on their way to catching up to the Starblaydi hosts.
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Posted: Apr 22 2009, 11:59 AM
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Three Arrows get a 2 draw against Nojika[/SIZE]

Last Saturday, the Three Arrows scored 2 goals against Nojika at the first game of the current Atlantian Oceanian Cup edition. The first goal was scored at the 31st minute by Thomas Gardner. After scoring it, Thomas dedicated it to his wife, who he engaged last week. The second goal was scored by Sergio Flores at the 56th minute. After minute 63, the Nojikan team started to play hard and at minute 75 they scored their first goal at the championship. Their second and drawing goal came at minute 87.

Edward City 2 : 2 Nojika
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