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Torrential rains slamming into Sarzonia's southern jewel used to wreak havoc on Nicksia Knights matches at their old Round Table. The small stadium was not built with any drainage systems, as the city expanded a former high school grounds into a professional stadium.
Now, however, the rains were kept from drenching the field at the new Mike Sarzo Stadium by a retractable glass roof. With the sky quickly growing darker prior to the 7 p.m. kickoff of Sarzonia's home fixture with Krytenia, the banks of lights began to turn on.
Kevin Wilson took a few minutes from his preparations for the Stars opening match of this 26th Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football to take in the sights of the stadium. What a beautiful place, he thought. ShinyPlaces indeed.
Of course, seeing players kitted out in the navy blue of Sarzonia getting set to face Krytenia brought the younger brother of the current Incorporated Football Federation Chairman, former national team manager and onetime national team captain Brian Wilson, back to reality. They'd have to play a match.
And play it they did. Krytenia broke through first courtesy of their star playmaking midfielder in the eighth minute, but Mike Lohman provided the answer 21 minutes later. Sarzonia finished the evening with a deserved 1:1 draw, giving this re-constituted Stars side its first standings point in its third tour of duty in AOCAF play.
"We ought to have done a better job defensively," Kevin Wilson said in his post-match press conference. "Offensively, we weren't quite where I'd like us to be. It was a fair result, but we have work to do.
"Can I talk about something not directly related to match play though?"
"Sure."
"This stadium is one of the best places I've ever been in, either to play or to manage. It's really spectacular. In fact, I wish I could don a kit one more time and play here."
Kevin Wilson smiled slightly when he heard laughs in the press room. He knew he couldn't play again. After all, his balky right knee would never permit it. But he also knew a great stadium when he saw one. And the Stars finally got on the board with a match in this 26th AOCAF tournament.
Sarzonia would have its next match in Allenmenschen. Pointing to a box that IFF staffers brought in, this Stars manager laughed.
"Purple stinging nellie repellant, direct from Truxtun Chemicals!" he said. "Hope that stuff works." |
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Sarzonia |
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It's all about the Navy. |
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Posts: 577 |
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AOCAF 26 - Group A
MD1: 2-0 vs Septentrionia
MD2: 1-6 vs Lamoni
MD3: vs Krytenia
MD4: vs Sarzonia
MD5: vs #6 BYE
MD6: vs Septentrionia
MD7: vs Lamoni
MD8: vs Krytenia
MD9: vs Sarzonia
MD10: vs #6 BYE
Koryatsky glanced at the news report on his quirky, frequently-malfunctioning vid-screen, detailing the reports of the Lamoni-Allemenschen encounter. He read the news and saw what he could quite believe. He needed a second opinion.
"Is it true that those purple-stinging nellies played for Allemenschen again and managed to beat Lamoni 6-1?" he asked Kowak, sitting not far away with his own news report, more on topic with the latest report of 6 homeless bums wisked away to be sacrificed to satiate the bloodlust of the Violetists. Kowak glanced at Koryatsky in an odd stare.
"That report's completely reversed," he said.
"I knew it!" Koryatsky said, in a rapturous roar. "Those damned purple-stinging nellies are playing us for fools and have betrayed us for those Lamoni... whatever they are."
"Actually, the purple-stinging nellies did play for Allemenschen. They just lost 6-1 against Lamoni."
"Oh... well, I still insist they're conniving, no good double-crossers who would double-cross an intersection just to get to the other side!"
"Right," Kowak asserted, as he turned the virtual screen over to reach for his praline-almond ice cream.
"Don't touch that!" Koryatsky suddenly yelled, thrusting his hand to intercede and toss the cup of delicious ice cream to the floor. The contents scattered far and wide.
"What the bloody blooming god-forsaken hell was that for?"
"Almonds are poisonous!" Koryatsky exclaimed. "I just saved your life! No doubt some odd plot by those scandalous purple-stinging nellies to kill off the government by feeding them praline-almond ice cream!"
"For your information, almonds do not contain cyanide. That dish of chicken almondine was perfectly safe, beyond the fact that the cook cut off his hands preparing the chicken... so it was more like chef's-hand-and-chicken almondine in that respect."
"But how can you tell when it's got almonds or cyanide?" Koryatsky asked.
"Ah, but for that," Kowak said, "we will need some good exploration with our good friend, #4102, the singing-science android."
"Oh, I love #4102! He makes learning science fun!"
At that, a whole chorus of singing androids emerging in song.
"Oh!...
It's a wonderful day to learn some science!
And time to make this wondrous alliance!
With a lovely melody
And some smacking comedy
To part our ways with rigid reliance!"
And from the middle of it all, #4102 came out with two different dishes. He sang:
"Which is or is not the spoiled one?
The one which leads life undone?
With sweet almonds
Or nuts just poisoned -
Whatever could make a question so fun?"
And with that, #4102 brought out a silver spoon to which #4102 was a bit surprised to find that Koryatsky had already eaten both plates of food. Kowak too was surprised.
"I thought you wanted to know how to tell the difference between cyanide and almonds?" Kowak said.
"I'm sorry," Koryatsky replied. "I got hungry."
"Not to worry!" #4102 sang, pulling out a vial. "I've got the antidote here!" To which Koryatsky fell down limp. And as the androids continued to sing, #4102 administered the cyanide antidote, leaving his body to rest on the floor while the androids departed. Kowak shook his head.
"Well, at least he's asleep. Maybe I can have my ice cream in peace..." |
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Padilla started for Roivas again, although Dmitris was seen limping up and down the touch line for the first time. The rumors were right, and Richter was benched for Ampatis, who made an impressive debut. Syku Lanja, on the other hand, kept his starting job and finally began to prove his mettle on the international stage.
Starters: Lanja, Tangye, Voreght, 백일일, Padilla, Ponten, Xura, Senior, Ikaru, Vermeeren, Ampatis
Substitutions: 45' Pedlar for Tangye, 68' McGuire for Ponten, 76' Frost for Xura
Box score:
| CODE | 23' Goal: Hyi-san (SNO)
24' Red Card: Senior (NOR)
24' Goal: Ampatis (NOR)
35' Goal: Ampatis (NOR)
68' Goal: Ikaru (NOR)
73' Goal: Vermeeren (NOR) |
Manager Alexandre Fréchette, who couldn't stop beaming in the press conference following Norwellia's first international football win, confirmed that Padilla will start for Roivas once more and that Ampatis would start again after an impressively double-penetrative first-eleven debut. James Howe is expected to start in Senior's lieu, in a move that will surely make the flank side of Norwellia's defense just a bit leakier. Howe, however, is expected to contribute some creativity to the Rainbow attack, which may be finding its stride.
Misina Ponten could be sidelined in favor of Sherri McGuire or Mia Frost, neither of whom are in yellow card trouble, unlike Ponten, who has been blamed for failing to generate sufficient forward possession in her time as a starter. Hydoc Pedlar, who impressed Fréchette with his finesse and tenacity in his international debut, may start for Tangye, whose tackles have been seen as dangerously overdone lately.
-------------------------------------
The rest of this post is semi-OOC due to the fact that, in character, the BoF is scheduled to begin after the completion of AOCAF in my time scheme, so these statistics will reflect events that have not officially happened yet in Norwellian football. For example, before AOCAF Matchday 2, a frustrated Fréchette responded to a BoF drubbing by benching every starter who hadn't yet scored a goal for the Warriors--to great success, fundamentally altering the team's makeup. This makes the whole thing a bit of a brain-bender: I'm practically forced to keep the starting lineup and formation mostly static throughout AOCAF, and some players have been benched in the BoF despite having actually scored in AOCAF MD2. Confused yet?
International career Stat-Tracker (includes AOCAF, BoF and ECC):
Goalies
Syku Lanja, 10 caps, 25 GA, 2.50 GAA
Aleksej Glinka, 1 cap, 5 GA
Pavel Kaganovic, 1 cap, 1 GA
Defenders
백일일: 11 caps
Metheven Tangye: 11 caps
Kentisesh Voreght: 11 caps
Hydoc Pedlar: 3 caps, 1 GF
Aaliyah Morris: 3 caps
Kew Gerry: 3 caps
Mason Camus: 1 cap
윤신일 ('Yun Sin-il): 1 cap
Midfielders
Sala Ikaru: 12 caps, 2 GF
Mesit Xura: 12 caps, 1 GF
Barbara Senior: 11 caps
Misina Ponten: 11 caps
Dmitris Roivas: 7 caps
Mia Frost: 6 caps, 2 GF
Chris Padilla: 6 caps
Sherri McGuire: 3 caps, 1 GF
James Howe: 1 cap
Forwards
Alain Vermeeren: 12 caps, 8 GF
Natalia Richter: 8 caps, 2 GF
Nikos Ampatis: 5 caps, 3 GF
Norwellia's overall international record: 3-1-7, 16 GF, 30 GA, -14 GD
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95X Throws Kosovoe Under the Bus In 2-0 Win
STARBLAYDIA–Atlantian Oceania's favorite soccer-playing circus hit the field in their first AOCAF Cup 26 match looking like contenders, with a 2-0 win over Kosovoe.
The first goal was scored by none other than Micah Skokomish, who quickly exploited holes left open by Kosovan defenders, scoring only 17 minutes into the game. Although Kosovoe made adjustments going forward, the ball rarely made it close to the 95X goal. When it did, keeper Tai Doe affirmed his selection to his new keeper role by stopping it every time.
When it was obvious 95X wore down their opponents to the point of exhaustion, late in the second half head coach Chris Tucker turned to his bench to rest his stars.
In no time at all, rookie player Micaela Collina scored her first AOCAF goal in minute 78, making the shortest player in 95X history at 4'2", the believed-to-be only 95X bench player to score a goal in their first game played and the first game of the competition.
Supporters realized the team has a long way to go, and the tournament has just begun. However, even some spectators who came to stare at the "crazy-looking 95X players" with binoculars left the stadium at the end of the match with looks on their faces like they'd never thought anyone like that could play that well.
95X 2, Kosovoe 0
Skokomish (:17), Collina (:78) |
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PLAYERS FOUGHT HARD BUT WEREN'T ABLE TO WIN
1x0 result didn't reflect the performance of the Cafundelense team
After the excellent result in the first game of the competition, when the Monopolists defeated The Bear Islands scoring four goals and conceding none, the team had to play against Demot, clearly a stronger team. So, the expectations for the game weren't big, although most supporters believed Cafundéu could make a good performance and even take some points from this game. The coach Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga reinforced this belief, by telling the press that the team was going to impress everyone in the next game. He wasn't wrong, although the result went in Demot's favour.
Cafundéu did the kickoff, and Rafael Nunes nearly scored the goal in the first play of the game, shooting from a long distance while Theros was checking the firmness of the goalposts. Luckily for the Demotian player, the ball went over the bar. Soon after, Demot showed its technical superiority in the game, in a fast play involving three different players, which ended with Ignaci shooting. Radicci appeared over the line to send it for a corner kick. Unfortunately, Zubo took the corner kick perfectly, and Warsin headed to score the goal, which ended to be the only of the game.
But of couse the game wasn't restricted only to the goal. Cafundéu played well, trying to react and score too, but Demot's defence, organized by the coach Renário, had a brilliant day. As time was passing, the supporters couldn't decide if the result was unfair for Cafundéu because of the good performance of the Monopolists or if the result was fair for Demot because of the quality of their defence. The pair Marques and Rafael Nunes, with one creating the chances and the other showing his striker skills worked really well today, but the Cafundelenses were unlucky to not score.
CAFUNDÉU 0x1 DEMOT
CAFUNDÉU: Murilo; Leonardo, Radicci, Schmidt and Luizão; Marcus Vinícius, Nakombi (Bacharel 66'), Marques and Augusto César (Doramílton 81'); Matoso (Cassis 45') and Rafael Nunes.
Coach: Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga.
DEMOT: Theros; Girlodino (Delaruse 74'), Readile, Warsin and Love; Zubo, Orion, Ignaci and Basso (Marath 60'); Rotherwell and Mastaru (Esanar 60')
Coach: Renário.
Goal:DEM: Warsin 10'.
Yellow cards: Schmidt, Luizão, Nakombi and Doramílton (CAF); Theros, Girlodino and Zubo (DEM). |
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95X and Norwellia tie, 2-2
STARBLAYDIA–95X and Norwellia played to an impressive 2-2 tie in Match Day 3 of AOCAF Cup 26. Both teams now have 4 total points in the standings, with 95X at 1 win and 1 tie and Norwellia with 1 win, 1 tie, and 1 loss.
Chris Tucker, 95X Head Coach, saw it differently.
"We were way too soft, especially on defense," he commented during the after-game press conference. "I told my team after the game that so what if we tied things up in the end, we came from behind, and we're lucky to have the game in the draw column instead of the loss column."
The match started off balanced, with both teams showing their stuff early. The first goal was scored in the 21st minute, when Ryan Tucker saw a small opening for Melissa/Michelle Mitchell, who capitalized on the play.
He furthermore went on that longtime starting defenders, Crystal Oakenshield and Misty Oakenshield, gave Norwellia too many opportunities, one of which produced the goal by Norwellia's Alain Vermeeren in the 39th minute.
"We play Pacitalia in Match Day 4," commented Tucker to his team at halftime, with the score tied 1-1. "We can't look that far in advance and expect to win today's game."
Shortly after halftime, Norwellia's Natalia Richter scored Norwellia's other goal in the 51st minute.
The game would sit at 2-1 Norwellia until Damien Dairycreek's shot in minute 70, which found its way into the goal.
Much of Tucker's talks throughout the game were analyzed by other members of the media speculating the possibility of lineup changes before the match with Pacitalia. When asked, Tucker refused to acknowledge the question, possibly out of concern for giving the defending AOCAF champions any hints as to what's in store.
95X 2, Norwellia 2
(Mitchell :21, Dairycreek :70), (Vermeeren :39, Richter :51)
(OOC:
Norwellia: Confused yet?
No. I totally get it. Even though two things are happening simultaneously IRL, AOCAF is happening before the other event. BTW, I tried entering some teams in events on the official NS forum... it moves way too fast for me! Having a few days between AOCAF MDs has been nice.) |
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"Superhuman" Giurimano tallies five, Foxes knock down Sorthern Northland
Giurimano surpasses overall goals total from AOCAF25 with eight in just two matches
Jhanna, Starblaydia (PSN) — Pacitalian striker Ambrosino Giurimano delivered victory with his first career five-goal match, and the Blue Foxes improved to 2-0-0 at the 26th Atlantian Oceanian Confederation of Association Football Cup with a resounding 7-1 win over group rivals Sorthern Northland.
The Magician now has eight goals in two matches to start the tournament, already surpassing the seven he scored overall in helping Pacitalia capture the championship last time at AOCAF25. Meanwhile, the Blue Foxes are on an offensive tear, tallying 12 goals in 180 minutes of play whilst surrendering just two.
Giurimano put the Blue Foxes ahead decisively very early, scoring on a harmless-looking chip in the 3rd minute. He then followed up with a whistling long-range drive from about 35 yards out to double the Pacitalian lead at 2-0 before even ten minutes had expired on the game clock. It was the Giurimano show from that point on — only twenty minutes into the match, he jumped to convert an Andolfabio Vunghiasso corner, redirecting it past the fingertips of Ben Gaudet to record his second hat trick in as many matches and the tenth of his career.
Giurimano returned the favour in the 37th minute, fording Bernard Labbé and Alan Cooper and passing to a wide-open Vunghiasso, who buried a rocket past Gaudet to make it 4-0. A visibly upset Merginn Moffat punted Gaudet from net and replaced him with Piran Hean to start the second half. He also substituted Labbé, Cooper and the other centre back, Patrick Mills, in a desperate and ultimately unsuccessful attempt to shake things up on defence.
Pacitalia's lone striker up front picked up right where he left off, gathering a laser pass from Michelangelo Mascagnano and deking Hean out of his kit, tossing a confident chip into the heart of the net to put the Blue Foxes ahead 5-0.
The Reds finally responded as Jon Andrews beautifully executed a redirection of Anthony Higgins' corner. The ball reached the scrum in front of net and Abro Zolà was prevented from reeling in the arcing shot. Eventually the ball found its way to Andrews, who pocketed his first of the tournament and, in so doing, spoiled Zolà's bid for a clean sheet.
Massimo da Scupeta joined the club of tournament scorers in the 67th minute, collecting a stray ball and beating Hean far-side with a screaming drive to the top left corner of the net. Then, Giurimano collected his fifth of the match and eighth of the tournament with a low dribbler that squeaked through a falling Hean's arms and sealed the 7-1 victory.
Pacitalia now moves on to play 95X on matchday four. 95X will then play the rested Sortherners, who enjoy a bye day after today's drubbing, on matchday five. 95X has posted a 2-0 win over Kosovoe and a 2-2 stalemate with Norwellia so far at the tournament.
From Starblaydia:
Pacitalia 7 : 1 Sorthern Northland
PAC — Giurimano 3, 7, 20, 49, 82; Vunghiasso 37; da Scupeta 67
SNR — Andrews 58
Next up: 95X v PAC (MD4), SNR v n/a (bye, SNR v 95X on MD5)
This post has been edited by Pacitalia on Apr 25 2009, 08:17 PM |
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Pacitalia |
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The best place on earth. |
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Posts: 505 |
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Eighty six minutes into a match that was remarkable for how horrible the pitch was, Sarzonia stared down the barrel of a 1:0 away deficit against Allenmenschen.
The purple-stinging nellie repellent worked to a point. However, the poached egg maker gave Allenmenschen the lead in the ninth minute when midfielder Adam Jones misplayed an attempted clear, drawing the ire of manager Kevin Wilson.
Finally, the Stars sent on forward Joel Jones for Adam Jones in the 53rd minute in an attempt to generate more offence. The move paid dividends in the 86th minute as he drew a penalty kick when onion chopper fouled him in the box. Fellow striker Mike Lohman calmly banged the penalty past welder, giving the Stars a needed away result, 1:1.
For Wilson, the two draws weren't what he'd hoped, but considering the Stars were 0-0-3 in the 25th AOCAF, he was pleased with the improvement.
"It was a good result, a fair result," he said. "We still have room for improvement defensively, but we're starting to see some benefit for the hard work we've put in during training."
Sarzonia (0-2-0) face Septentrionia in a match that Incorporated Football Federation organisers moved to Mike Sarzo Stadium in Nicksia.
"With Cotenshire's political situation unsettled, the Iron Bowl [in Portland] was offered as an alternate 'home' grounds during [the World Bowl] gridball," said IFF chairman Brian Wilson, Kevin's older brother. "Under the circumstances, we wanted to ensure that the Stars have uninterrupted access to either Mike Sarzo Stadium or Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium."
Septentrionia (0-0-2) are currently in last place in Group 1, but Kevin Wilson said the team wasn't thinking about that.
"We need to get the full three [points for a victory]," he said. "Right now, we've got two points for draws. We need wins." |
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Sarzonia |
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It's all about the Navy. |
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Posts: 577 |
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AOCAF 26 - Group A
MD1: 2-0 vs Septentrionia
MD2: 1-6 vs Lamoni
MD3: 1-1 vs Sarzonia
MD4: vs Krytenia
MD5: vs #6 BYE
MD6: vs Septentrionia
MD7: vs Lamoni
MD8: vs Sarzonia
MD9: vs Krytenia
MD10: vs #6 BYE
"Who the %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ switched the %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ fixtures?!?"
At that instant, a potty patrol team raced out of the wall, complete with water and bar of soap. They quickly grabbed Koryatsky by the limbs and held him fast while the master machine washed out his mouth with soap while reciting repeatedly, "The use of expletives will not be tolerated in this abode of the Republic. Violators will be subject to the maximum punishment of the law." And when it was all done, Koryatsky could hardly imagine anything but the taste of pale soap in hard water.
"That was disgusting..." he writhed as he turned to Kowak, aimlessly watching the whole affair. "Who turned on the expletive control center?"
"That would be you, Mr. President," Kowak replied. "I do remember that you included uttering the very phrase that is not to be mentioned here to that very list."
"What phrase? I don't remember ever doing that."
"You did it last night, after drinking with the Cabinet. You must have had plenty of things to drink, mostly from overseas contraband. Someone said the phrase which must not be uttered and you decided to turn on the expletive command center. Unfortunately, you forgot to remove all of the other words in the process, but luckily you're the first victim of the week!"
"That's nice, but what was this phrase that I added, so I can remember not to say it?"
"It's the thing you fear most, I believe."
"I fear nothing," Koryatsky said in absolution.
"Right... Well, those things did a good job playing a 1-1 draw against Sarzonia, despite having the wrong schedule for the whole occasion. I do think that the Sarzonians did find an apt repellent, but I think all it did was to stop the buggers from stinging people."
"What were they trying to repel?"
"The thing which I must not utter, lest I wish to be pummeled with soap or worse things."
"I don't get you," Koryatsky said, wondering what this whole business was about. "So the Allemenschen football team played a draw. What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that we're still in second place, despite having conceded more goals than we shot. It also means that we're doing a lot better anticipated, so the things have planned to build up a lot of stadia around the country so we can get together some really weird teams and have a domestic league."
"I think we've got better things to worry about than funding the construction of football stadia. Like the pestilence of the..."
At that instant, Kowak rushed up and covered Koryatsky's mouth. Koryatsky bit Kowak's hand, unexpectedly.
"What the.......... what was that for?" Koryatsky exclaimed, remembering his little lesson.
"You were about to utter the unutterable phrase."
"Purple-stinging nellies? That's the %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ phrase?"
And no sooner did he say it than did a great host of machines arrived, armed not with water and soap with with boots. Steel toed boots, all of them.
"What's this for?" Koryatsky aptly asked, just as the thunderous horde all aimed the boots at Koryatsky's groin area. Whether any of them hit their target was another matter to discuss; it was needless to say painful.
"I did warn you," Kowak said, casually waltzing away.
Koryatsky looked up at the waltzing Kowak, and replied with a much higher pitch, "That you did..." |
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AOCAF 26 - Group A
MD1: 2-0 vs Septentrionia
MD2: 1-6 vs Lamoni
MD3: 1-1 vs Sarzonia
MD4: 1-0vs Krytenia
MD5: vs #6 BYE
MD6: vs Septentrionia
MD7: vs Lamoni
MD8: vs Sarzonia
MD9: vs Krytenia
MD10: vs #6 BYE
"GAH!!!! PURPLE STINGING NELLIES!!!"
"Where?!?" Kowak yelled, as he had his Purple-Stinging Nellie Patrol Cap upon his head. It was brightly colored hot-pink purple, as a way to ward off the nellies, although no independent lab ever confirmed that they actually worked. Beyond that, Kowak was on the look-out for purple-stinging nellies.
"ON THE TV!!!"
Kowak gazed at the TV, while a petrified President Koryatsky simply pointed in terror. Kowak tapped the TV and surely the purple-stinging nellies didn't come off.
"I believe that's on the TV broadcast, not the TV, Marek..." Kowak said, annoyed that he'd put on his whole attire just for this madness.
"I know. They're on TV! If people catch wind of the fact that there are purple-stinging nellies, they might think better of them!!!"
Kowak, glancing at the TV, shook his head. "Begging your pardon, Marek... if they don't know what a purple-stinging nellie is at this point, they're better off feeding carp to a bunch of SLANI tourists. Speaking of which, your ten o'clock is coming right on schedule. Don't forget that SLANI tourists only want fresh carp, not partially frozen trout with carp heads sowen on to make them look like carp."
"I get it," Koryatsky said, picking up his chum bucket. He checked his watch. "OMFZG!!! It's 9:55!!!"
Kowak seemed confused. "Of course, it's 9:55..."
"I have to get to the chum spot! In five minutes!"
Kowak glanced off to the side, where a glamorous balcony sat waiting for the President to dispense his filthy load of fish. Some early biters were already at the site. Unable to grasp how Koryatsky could be late for the occasion, he pointed over to the spot just to be sure. "It's right over there, Marek."
"I know. But you never know with the purple-stinging nellies! They could kidnap you and make you late!"
"They only steal you away to the Cabinet Chamber."
"And that crazy Cabinet still thinks it's a helicopter!!!"
"We could just move the SLANI tourist feeding area..."
"No!!! Those Capitalizts don't like us changing the whole thing on a whim!!! Otherwise, they'll go somewhere else for their carp and tuna!"
"And why exactly do we feed them carp and tuna, not previously partially frozen trout with carp heads?"
"Because they're nasty sharks that prey upon the weak and powerless proletariat. They're ravenous warmongers who throw the lives of the workers' union to the whims of their imperialistic aims!"
Kowak nodded. "Isn't that just a figure of speech?"
"No. They really are sharks. Feeding them carp is the only way we can get their money."
"Alright. If that suits you."
Koryatsky looked to the clock. 9:58.
"I'm going to be late!!!"
"Here's let's just take a simple walk over to the other side..."
"NOOO!!!"
Koryatsky reached out to grab Kowak, just as a giant horde of purple-stinging nellies rushed down the main thoroughfare of the hallway, creating a thick impenetrable wall of purple-stinging nellies, trapping them in the TV room, as well as blocking their path to the SLAIN tourist feeding balcony.
"Oh..."
"We're trapped!"
"Thanks for stating the obvious..."
"How will we get out??? HOW???"
"We could try going through the crowd?"
"And risk getting touched by those filthy things?" Koryatsky retorted vehemently. "I think not."
"And how long does this normally last?"
"Two minutes."
"Ah, I see your predicament then..." Kowak turned back to the TV. "We could try watching some news. See? The Allemenschen football team beat those Krytie bastards."
"Why'd they beat up some crying bastards?"
"I mean they played against the team from Krytenia and managed to win the game 1-0. I think those androids are getting better, because that's two goals scored by androids."
"Yep. That android coach is sure doing a good job...at doing whatever it is that android coaches do."
"Yep. Mixing the androids with the purple-stinging nellies is an excellent compromise..."
"WHA?" |
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Norwellia 2 - Kosovoe 1
Starting lineup: Lanja, 백일일, Tangye, Voreght, Senior, Ponten,
Ikaru, Padilla, Xura, Vermeeren, Richter
3' Goal: Padilla (NOR), 1
9' Goal: Kosovoe
42' Sub: Gerry for Tangye
74' Goal: Ponten (NOR), 1
International Stat-Tracker:
Goalies
Syku Lanja - 12 caps, 28 GA, 2.33 GAA
Pavel Kaganovic - 2 caps, 1 GA, 1 SO
Aleksej Glinka - 1 cap, 5 GA
Defenders
백일일, 13 caps
Metheven Tangye, 13 caps
Kentisesh Voreght, 13 caps
Kew Gerry, 5 caps
Hydoc Pedlar, 4 caps, 1 GF
Aaliyah Morris, 4 caps
Mason Camus, 2 caps
윤신일 ('Yun Sin-il), 1 cap
Midfielders
Sala Ikaru, 15 caps, 4 GF
Mesit Xura, 15 caps, 1 GF
Misina Ponten, 13 caps, 1 GF
Chris Padilla, 8 caps, 1 GF
Mia Frost, 7 caps, 2 GF
Dmitris Roivas, 7 caps
Sherri McGuire, 3 caps, 1 GF
James Howe, 2 caps
Forwards
Alain Vermeeren, 15 caps, 10 GF
Natalia Richter, 11 caps, 3 GF
Nikos Ampatis, 6 caps, 3 GF
Doshese Pagliloe, 1 cap |
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Ummmm... this is the RP thread, not the roster thread. |
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Lamoni |
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Democratic Maniac |
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Posts: 1952 |
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| QUOTE (Lamoni @ May 2 2009, 12:22 AM) | | Ummmm... this is the RP thread, not the roster thread. |
The international communication was immediately perceived as not-usual communications coming from Lamoni. And all it started was a modest rush at the communications controls somewhere in Allemenschen...
"Maybe they don't know that that was an RP?"
"What the heck is an RP?"
"I don't know either."
"Well... who wants some pistachios?"
"I DO!!!" |
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AOCAF 26 - Group A
MD1: 2-0 vs Septentrionia
MD2: 1-6 vs Lamoni
MD3: 1-1 vs Sarzonia
MD4: 1-0 vs Krytenia
MD5: vs #6 BYE
MD6: 3-1 vs Septentrionia
MD7: vs Lamoni
MD8: vs Krytenia
MD9: vs Sarzonia
MD10: vs #6 BYE
Koryatsky was confused by the reports. Kowak was confused as to why Koryatsky was confused in the first place.
"So we're playing the World Cup 46 Qualifiers?" Koryatsky asked.
"Yes."
"And we playing in the AOCAF 26 Group A?"
"Yes."
"Well, how the ... bleep are we managing that task?"
"It's called time-dilation series."
"Wha?"
At that, the platform folded into a lab stage, whereupon countless numbers of scientists, reesearchers, SLANI tourists, and the whatnot were conducting the oblivious routines. Kowak led Koryatsky on the personal tour. "These machines are helping to maintain Allemenschen within the NS universe, which requires quite a few things. That machine over there keeps us 'logged in' into the universe. It's just something that says we exist. That machine helps sustain our 'logged in' state over a period of 28 days. If we wanted to, we could extend it by a good 32 days, and make it 60 days. And this machine registers our national polity, for the daily WA census tours."
"Well, that's all interest and all," Koryatsky said, "but where's the machine that makes us possible to play two matches at the same time for different reasons?"
"Oh, that would be TIMMY."
"TIMMY?"
"Yes. Temporal-Inflation-Macro-Management-Yodeller."
"What the ... bleep is the yodeller part for?"
"Because yodelling is the only way that time-dilation actually works. How else can you expect to play two football games at the same time?"
"I... don't... work... but it gives me an idea..."
"Well, too bad yodelling can't help us win World Cup games. Even though we did manage a win with those crappy androids away at Carpathia and Ruthenia..."
"I thought that was a home game."
"Oh, yeah. The other team didn't want to play in Allemenschen, so they rescheduled the match for a venue in a more convenient spot."
"Which is?"
"Some place called... 'Fort Boston'."
"Those androids are playing a match on a military installation somewhere?" |
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MONOPOLISTS "B" TEAM WITH PROMISING PERFORMANCES
Good games show that team has good players ready to play for the main team
After playing five games, the Cafundelense National Team sent to the AOCAF Cup is in the second position at the standings, with seven points. Although many people can say that seven points in five games isn't a good record, we must remember them that Cafundéu has just entered the competition in this edition, and that the expected performance was worse than what is happening now. With two wins, one draw and two losses, the "B" team of the Monopolists is doing a fine job, and many of its players are already being considered as certain players of the main National Team in a short amount of time. But, even if none of the players reach the main NT in time for the next World Cup, at least one member of this AOCAF Cup has a guaranteed spot: the coach Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga.
The CCFM has announced today that Gilsoweller Veiga will be the coach of the National Team starting in the World Cup qualifiers for the next cup, which are expected to begin two months after the end of the AOCAF. Veiga is expected to bring some players of the AOCAF team into the main NT. Rumours are around the names of Rafael Nunes, Pedrinho, Marcus Vinícius, Nakombi and Leonardo, but even more can be used. Also, this decision helped Veiga to sign a nice sponsorship deal with Canfudean, the country's most popular brand of canned food, which will use the popular coach in some of their new advertisements. Last but not least, things are getting strange inside the CCFM, and many people comment that the president, Carlos Alberto Urubupungá, has done something wrong and is being pursued by the Empire's police. Substitutes for his position are being considered.
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