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95X Border Compromised! Repeatedly!
Posted: May 27 2013, 01:52 PM
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PACIFIC CITY, 95X—The largest known security breach in 95X history was discovered late yesterday, when it was revealed unauthorized individuals could enter and exit the country's most secure areas on a whim. Multiple security measures designed to protect such an event were either compromised or non-functioning.

Additionally, the Courier has learned that sloppy and non-existent recordkeeping at the country's borders have led to individuals, including those with violent criminal records and foreign nationals that may bring harm to 95X, entering and leaving the country as they please.

An individual, whom the Courier is not releasing the identity of, discovered the aftermath of multiple breaches during the late hours of the evening, while responding to a "routine administrative request from another nation." The details of this request are unknown.

The breaches were worsened by substandard records-keeping, the individual stated. In some cases, "no documentation was requested at all, the papers that are required to be filled out were blank."

When asked by the Courier, the individual confirmed that border access and secure areas access are handled by the same company, 95X Security Company, Inc.

95X President Rick VanBuren is attending a trade summit, according to his secretary, and was unavailable for immediate comment.

At this time, it is unknown what information has been compromised, and who might have accessed it. A full account of those who walk among 95Xers who shouldn't be might never be known, all due to lax recordkeeping and policies.

The Courier will continue to follow this breaking news story.
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Posted: Jun 4 2013, 12:39 PM
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The trial of the year was about to wrap up on The Supreme Court, the highest-rated courtroom TV show in 95X, which also happens to be the highest court in 95X. Traditionally broadcast live and unedited, the day's show was no exception.

"Your plea for clemency is denied," the judge says to the defendant, dressed in an orange jail jumpsuit and in chains 'for televised effect.' "Your plea of insanity is also denied. As you have already been found guilty of murder and have needlessly dragged your drivelous argument to this court"—

While the judge is speaking, the video cuts to an "XBN Breaking News" slide, although nobody on the set knows. The judge's verdict is still audible, however.

—"I sentence you to an immediate, unappealable execution!"

Before the judge presses the button that opens a trap door sending the now-convict to the gallows, the sound cuts to the network's breaking news cue, which also happens to be the opening riff to "Never Gonna Give You Up."

Video and sound then cut to an anchor at a desk, who is visibly trying to maintain composure and his hairdo while addressing the national audience. In the background behind the set are various network news staff running around frantically.

"We interrupt our regularly-scheduled programming with breaking news. This is Chuck Mills at XBN Network Headquarters in Pacific City. XBN has just learned Rick VanBuren has resigned as President of 95X. This comes in the wake of the national security scandal that allowed countless individuals access to the nation. XBN is the first news agency with this news, it comes directly from VanBuren's staff and confirmed by an official close to VanBuren that there will be no press conference, that he has already submitted resignation paperwork and in the process of turning in other items, obviously he is in a supposedly-secure area and is unavailable for comment at this time."

Mills, currently one of the most respected newspeople in 95X, takes a much-needed gasp for air, and continues.

"Again, Rick VanBuren resigned as President of 95X. The remainder of the 95X Board of Directors will run the country until an election will name a direct successor. We'll have more tonigh—"

Mills is cut off by an abrupt change on the teleprompter.

"—We're getting more now, everyone. It has just been confirmed VanBuren also resigned due to the inability of 95X to assist with an undisclosed international effort. Again, more tonight at 6 PM 95X Standard Time, break-ins when we need to, we now return to our regularly-scheduled program still in progress."

Programming returns, however is now in a commercial break.
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